It was andstill is always a mistery to me why she chose me to be her companionfor life.If she would be reading this she probably would just shake her head andthrow me out. Not believing what she is reading. i do believe sheadores me but like i said i don?t believe i deserve her. She is simplyput too good for me. Also sexually speaking as was proven just a coupleof days ago when i couldn?t even get hard for her. i am too effeminatefor being a good lover. We had our daughters years ago and when we madelove she basically extracted the semen from me, riding on top with mylegs being spread and wrapped around her. God, i felt i was the one whoshould have gotten pregnant but no, her superior pussy just extractedmy semen until i lay spent below her simply hanging on for the ride shewas providing. This is also our life since she is the breadwinner i amhanging on for the ride she is providing and it shows me i am simplynot adequate enough for her.Still, she is so gracious she doesn?t even use. The woman I could grow into.”Eva’s mind returned to this room, to me. She spoke clearly, calmly, directly. “Then he fucked me. I let him. Then he and a friend fucked me. I let them.”She didn’t flinch, stared me straight in the eyes, “I’m still letting them. And I don’t want to. Never did want to. He’s got me. Freddie.”In addition to the super secure window and door locks that Gene Austin installed in our loft, he personally created a little hidey-hole for me in our laundry room. He hid a phantom hinge in the wood paneling. When I pull it open, the paneling and drywall can be pushed forward and then moved to the right like a sliding pocket door. There’s metal trim at the bottom of the drywall so it won’t wear out.The hidden recess is six feet tall and a little over a foot in depth. There are built-in shelves where I keep stuff. The Ruger SR9c which I should have taken to Mr. Blenheim’s house. It’s a compact semi automatic pistol and I would have felt braver with it in my shaky.
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