"Hey, remember that thing about the massage gift certificate?" Yeah, she'll love you forever, man." OK, sounds good," I heard myself say. "But what if I want to watch? You know, just to make sure everything is cool?"Dave busted up big time on the other end. "Man, you just want to get your rocks off with her, don't you? I've seen it a million times, dudes love to see if the wifey can get her buttons pushed by someone else. Don't worry, it's no problem. Like I said, I've got the whole room wired. You'll have a ringside seat, and she won't even know you're there!"Several days later Natalie sat opening her Valentines presents. I'd sprung for the obligatory flowers, some nice jewelry, and some goodies from Victoria's Secret trinkets I thought she'd like. She seemed genuinely delighted with the stuff and gave me a big kiss after she opened it. My plan was to take her to dinner at our favorite restaurant and give her the bonus gift, the massage certificate. The meal and the mood were. His facial expression changes. It doesn't become harder, or more evil or anything, just ... different. "Stand up," he gestures to me. "I want you to take off everything you're wearing below the waist. Now."Shit, okay, so this is happening. I knew it would and some part of me wished he'd just get it over with, but it's still weird. Immediately I can feel the beating of my heart against my ribcage, my pulse racing, that sensation that sends shivers and goosebumps down my spine ... is this why I'm doing all this? I can't give myself an answer. My fingers shake just a bit as I reach down and pull my sneakers off, tossing them to the side. I wasn't wearing any socks, so that leaves me pressing my bare feet to the rough, dusty concrete once I stand to remove the jeans. Somehow, that grounds me to the reality of what I'm doing - so much more than anything else has until now. The sharp grit, bits of debris of the decaying building dig into the soles of my feet, making me squirm. Vulnerable,.
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