I’m going outside to cut the grass. I’ll let you ladies talk privately about whatever women talk about when men are not around.”Beth said, “Give us half an hour and then come in for some lemonade or a beer.”I did as I was told and it was starting to get very hot. I was nervous about what that rich bitch friend of Beth’s was talking about. Beth opened a beer and handed it to me.Beth said, “Terry, I told Sarah EVERYTHING and she promised not to tell anyone. She’s not completely convinced that we didn’t make love and wants us both to get naked to prove we can keep our hands off of each other. She does not believe a man and woman can be friends without making love.”I got a sly look on my face and a wonderful idea dawned on me.I said, “NO! I’m not going to be the only one naked or a piece of meat for you women to ogle and examine.”Beth shrugged saying, “Okay, I’m the exhibitionist here so I’ll go first.”The look of anticipation and lust betrayed the fact that I’ve seen Beth often enough. "Call it a Christmas present, if you will," said Clarence."ChristMESS is more like it," replied George. "If the cops hadn't shown up when they did, I would have walked in front of the 11:05 (train) and ended it all!" That's it, George!" said Clarence. "Keep thinking of only yourself and not of the people on that train whose lives you would have turmoiled, especially the motorman, who fights to stay alert and protect lives, and who would have been permanently scarred for life had you waltzed into his locomotive." What am I supposed to say?" spat George back, sarcastically, "that I'm thankful?"My Christmas present is that I just got divorced from my wife of sixteen years, and SHE got everything, even though SHE was the one who cheated on me!" cried George. "I even get to pay alimony and child support while my 'ex' continues to hump the guy she's been seeing, as long as she doesn't remarry."Clarence brought George back down to Earth with a few clarifying facts, saying, "But YOU sought.
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