‘You need to make a pouty mouth, with just this little hint of a smile. Coquettish, honey.’ they would call and I would have to shake off the doubts and objections, swallow my pride and give them what they wanted. They told me to sleep a little more. ‘Darling, your eyes look all puffy and your taint is really dark and shady. You need to relax and lie down a bit. Get a nice massage and facial.’ they would complain and I would only nod in accomplishment and turn on my heel. They griped I was like a sea of ice. ‘Can’t you just be a little more extroverted? A tiny bit… The camera won’t bite, honey.’ they would always repeat, in endless sing-sangy voices. And I flipped my hair and gave them the glint in my eyes they had asked for. They claimed I was like a body without soul. I was doing my best, I honestly was. But when they would arrange the floodlights and zoom in the cameras I would automatically lose my identity. Every click flash was adding up and I ended each day just like those. They’re faster and more reliable than a standard re-writeable DVD.” He held it to the light of her desk lamp. “Do you see these shiny flecks?”“Yes...”“That’s the hard-sectoring. You need a special drive and special drivers to read one of these. Your laptop is old enough that DVD-RAM drives weren’t standard issue.”“Yours is new enough?”“I insisted on it. A DVD-RAM drive can handle all other media as well. So -- do we have a date?”“It depends,” she said.“Depends on what? I thought we agreed.”’“It depends on what happens next.” She slipped the thumb drive into her port and reached for her mouse.“Carmen -- your hands are shaking.”“I know. I am scared shitless ... but here goes.” She brought up images. “This is me ... before I got sick.”He saw photographs of a tall, medium-built young woman with long, dark hair. “I recognize you -- from my dreams.”“Yes. I think we establish a mental body image and that stays with us. This is how I think of myself. Your avatar was younger, too.”“I guess I.
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