Hunter helped me rise to my feet, and then I worked my way along the now-busy bar to the restrooms. Thanks to careful nursing of my drinks, I was only buzzed rather than hammered. I had no idea how the men were still conscious. We’d talked around my proposal at length, but as usual Hunter carefully avoided making any commitment. I needed to do something more if I wanted a different outcome. I stared at a hair pinched between two fingers, lifted from Hunter when he’d helped me up. What I was about to do seemed so ridiculous it was embarrassing, but it wouldn’t cost me anything to try. Looking furtively around and seeing nobody, I curled the hair around my fingertip and popped it in my mouth. I grimaced at the sensation and swallowed several times before I got it down. Then I cursed myself, belated remembering the lip balm I was supposed to have used with it. The thought of trying to obtain another hair, at risk of discovery and possibly no gain, seemed unappealing. Operating on. .the very lovely Miss Ophelia Ratcatcher-Bucket, who is 19 years old and lives in Swansea although she was born and bred in Scunthorpe - in a test tube, hidden in a box in the Ratcatcher-Bucket family's attic."(lots of enthusiastic applause from the audience...real clapping, wolf whistling, cheering and laughing - not any of that Canned Nonsense that you get for your Telly Licence Payer's money on all those other downmarket TV shows)"Good evening folks, welcome to Who Said What. You both must be really itching to get started. But first, I'd like you tell the audience a bit about yourselves, so let's begin with your, Mr. Gumby. We usually call our contestants by their first names, so what does the 'D.P.' stand for ?" " I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that, Mr. Gumby" " That's ok, Mr. Gumby. I understand that you must be pretty nervous, being on national TV and we're the hottest quiz show on the telly at the moment, so we'll just call you 'D.P.' then...is that OK ?" " And over to.
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