Leeann always had a thing for me, since my first visit when she was five years old. I sat her on my lap and read to her for over an hour.“We are just playing a game of Scrabble.”“On three boards?”“Yeah, every once in awhile we switch places and take over another players tiles. It keeps things interesting.”Everyone kept playing as the family gathered in the basement. I made introductions as we played. I introduced Lynn and Erin and Blossom and the older girls. Leeann asked the big question.“Which one is your wife, Uncle Paul and are the others your babysitters?”“Um, Leeann, brace yourself.” I said to my curious niece and the others. “This is Lynn O’Dell, my wife. The redheads are our daughters. This is Erin O’Dell, my second wife. The blonde girls are hers. This is Blossom O’Dell my third wife and the two tiny babies in the car seats with the wild black hair are ours. As you can see they are all pregnant. Lynn and Erin with more twins and Blossom with a single.”The family members. Gaga strikes again I guess."This is Billy," Barbie said with a smile. "He is very, very good at what he does, one of the best. I want you to do whatever he asks you. He lives around here so he knows what girls wear and how they act. Listen to him or, Miss Smarty-mouth, you will be grounded forever. Got it? You will live in the basement with the bugs and an AM radio and a crossword puzzle book."The girl blinked at me and nodded."Say, yes'm, or yes, Aunt Barbie," Barbie demanded through clenched teeth. When she got angry, you did not want to be around her. Barbie was 25, on her fourth husband and had a couple of studs, not counting me, warming up in the bullpen, well-heeled and eager-to-wed ones. Number four was looking very haggard these days, fucked out, destined for the discard pile from which there was no escape. The first three had all died rather violently."Take her out, get her cleaned up so we can see what we've got, buy her some decent clothes and show her around. Get her back.
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