Maybe it was much later, when we were fourteen and our bodies were much more mature. I don't know. I'm sure only someone who can exactly define how a sexual act differs from any other could pinpoint it. At some time, however, the sexual aspect of our friendship was unavoidable. We were no longer just best friends. We were also lovers. It took a very long time for us to recognise the fact, and even longer to actually believe it or to be aware of its implications. But by that time - which must have been when we first realised that lesbianism was not a foreign condition but a word that described our love for each other - our passionate love was far too committed for us to break it off. But the realisation changed our relationship forever."Now that we knew that we were engaged in a lesbian love affair, we also knew that we had to keep it secret. It would change other people's attitude towards us. It would upset our parents. It would upset our friends. And we also, rather belatedly,. Therefore, Ivan's claim that he had not see me since we were dancing together was bullshit. The night was muddled, but I knew damn well I hadn't been with him before bedtime. So he had made love to me later on that night. No, I thought angrily, not "made love". The bastard had fucked me. And in a hell of a lot more ways than just that.Had I had sex with David? I didn't know, couldn't be sure, but I damn well doubted it. I doubted it because I knew Ivan. If he had been in control enough to set this up, he would have never let someone fuck me. Besides, I also knew David. David didn't need to catch his women drunk and unconscious. He had them lining up two by two.And why was I unable to remember much about the night? Yes, I had been drinking, perhaps more than usual since I was enjoying myself and the renewed attention from my husband. But not so much that I should have passed out like it seemed I had. Obviously it was too late to get blood work done to see if I had been drugged but I.
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