Once I found that she was already wet I could not hold myself back but rolled her under me and spread her legs. And then I entered her with one slow but powerful stroke. Had I been gentle when I made love to her the last time, this was not now the case. This was a powerful act of having sex. I kissed her occasionally but mostly it was my hips doing the dance. Powerful, forceful dance with occasional intensive kisses. When I felt the change in her breathing, I picked up speed and when she clamped me between her legs and yelled, I started shooting. When I felt that my hands could not hold me any more I collapsed to her side.I started crying.Having sex with Manuela did not cure me at once, but gradually I started having some feelings. I can't remember what the first thing was, that made me smile again; but I think it was something small and silly.The result was almost a total disaster, as when I smiled, Alexa started crying. Only then did it occur to me how worried they must have been. Basking in the warm afterglow until the sweat starts to cool forcing me to pull the covers back up. Exhausted I start to drift off to sleep with the last thought to cross my mind.“That’s the last time that I masturbate to “Beep, Beep” by the Play Mates!”I went to see the Doctor soon afterwards. We talked about my ordeal.She was a very professional listener knowing just the right questions to ask to help me sort things out and be able to put it all behind me. The Doctor had offered her services to my father that day in the principal’s office .( NO not that kind get your mind out of the gutter.)No one from the school ever offered any help whatsoever back then the term grief counseling didn’t exist. My hardest question was why me? There were so many other girls at school that looked like they could be in Playboy magazine. Were myself, I looked more like Twiggy.I went to see the Doctor several more times and really understood what Russell and Janet saw in her. I was even able to talk to.
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