They're very handsome." That seemed toset his mind at ease."What was I like, before, then?"Oh god. That was a tough question. How do you even describe somethinglike that."You were like..." I waved my hands around by way of explanation. "Moremasculine? I guess? You were sweet and tender - not that you aren't nowI guess, but like, you always made these really sweet expressions whichI always found cute and now you're like, very smouldery and sexy andhot and that's not a bad thing, it's just different. And, like, youmoved with a kind of cocky swagger to your step and were clumsier, notas smooth as you seem to move now. You were... I don't know. You movedlike a regular dude. Like a man." What? Baby, have you seen me?" He laughed again, then flexed. Only,instead of his usual 45 degrees he was holding his arms up at 90, withhis wrists hanging loosely inwards instead of tightly balled up intofists. On him, right now, it was a very dainty gesture. "I'm probablyone of the most masculine guys. It’s ok. It’s just a flashback baby. You need to let it go. It’s been three years. It’s all in the past. I need you to just breathe for me. Go outside and get some fresh air if you need to.”Taking her advice, I kiss her. I get out of bed, and walk to our small kitchen. I wash my face with cold water and drink a cup for hydration. I walk out the front door and down our private path. The stars are bright in the sky and the moon is in full effect. It’s a gorgeous evening as the moon reflects upon the coastline in our little village. I stop once I reach the cliff, close to the trail that’s connected to the rest of the little villages in this Italian region. Our village is very remote with absolutely no access to cars. Only way in is by boat or helicopter.I stop and think about how my life has dramatically changed in the last few years. Ever since I came back home from college for the summer. I think about my family that I left behind back in the US. I miss them so much! But I know.
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