He can spend the time any way he likes. We will play out each of his ideas methodically and as intensely as he wants that day. I spend the time getting him excited and getting him off. He spends it enjoying orgasms and letting his imagination dictate our actions. We will.have an understanding that I do the pleasuring and he is the one who gets to be pleasured. Details of what we do next, how he wants me to behave, what attitude I will have and when and how it should change. The games we play, how and when he wants to touch me, the toys he gets to use on me, the scenes we play out, situations we role play; he gets to dictate all our sexual interactions. And he gets off on having that power over me. He feels comfortable telling me any dirty little craving he has. With no self consciousness, no embarrassment, no holding back of dark fantasies. As I continuously do what he says throughout the night, his confidence builds. It's hard to be embarrassed in front of someone. My brother was dead.I drank a lot. Too much and I cried. For Ronald, for our baby, for my parents. I cried for me and I felt almost better afterwards, but not really. Nothing was changed. I had two cartons of files, my whole life on paper. From my mother's original request for a research grant, now classified top secret/compartmented information to the TSCI order terminating the project less than an hour after public announcement of my selection as a scientific member of the Deep Space Survey.I'd become untouchable then and I understood that some of those persons responsible for my existence were anxious to see me terminated. Not for any specific reason, merely for insurance. Tying up loose ends, as it were. Mr. Fox had saved me and so far as anyone would ever know, I no longer worked for him or the CIA, or anyone but NASA. But I did and that was our little secret. The one Mr. Fox would soon take to the grave and I would take into the depths of space.That was more responsibility than.
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