....The Perfect DumpEvery once in a while everyone experiences the perfect dump. It's rare but a real thing of beauty. You sit down expecting the worse, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fart-less masterpiece that breaks the water with the splash-less grace of an Olympic high-diving champion. You use the toilet tissue to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right in the world and that you are in perfect harmony with it.The Beer DumpNasty! Depends upon the dumper's tolerance and is the result of too many beers - doesn't matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised.....The Chilli Dump (aka The Japanese Flag)Hot when it goes in and napalm when it comes out. It stays with you all day stinging yer ring and generally making your choccie starfish feel like the Shuttle's heat shield. Also makes your ass look like "a. One of his relatives wanted us to drink in a questionable cup that was passed around and when it was my turn, it turned out it was beer and I took a sip. I gagged and cough horrendously while everyone around me started to laugh and giving me a tap on my shoulder as a gesture of empathy. Then we started to eat and I enjoyed immensely the portion and the lavish food they prepared. Rusty is lucky enough to have amazing and supporting relatives. Two hours passed by, Rusty told us that we have a ride back home since his uncle drove by himself in a jeepney. When it was time to go home, we boarded the jeepney and went back home in less than fifteen minutes. Rusty’s uncle powered off the jeepney and he signaled us that he is beat and heading for bed. We were still inside the jeepney half-awake, parked in the dark road by Rusty’s neighborhood. It seems everyone is asleep and only the sound of the crickets in the background. Chuck and Regan were so tired that they both wanted to head home. I.
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