Whats your name?”“Penis Van Lesbian, Sir.”“Excuse me? What did you say?”“Penis Van Lesbian”“You CAN’T have a name like THAT in show business.” The agent replied.“Penis Van Lesbian is a long respected name where I come from, and I will NOT change it!” As he stormed out the door in a huff.The agent soon forgot the would be actor and went on about his business. 20 years later, he recieved an envelope in the mail, containing $10,000 and a note...The note said,“Dear Sir,A long time ago you gave me some advice, and to my shame I walked out on you. I soon learned that you were right, and I changed my name and actually became fairly successful.I regret not taking your advice when offered. Since it worked well enough, I have enclosed what I believe would have been your commission.Sincerely,Wait for it...Dick Van DykeThree Men were waiting to go to heaven. St Peter was at the gate and said, “However good you were to your wife that is the vehicle you will get in heaven.”The first guy comes up. You’re more than welcome to stay tonight if you like. Help yourself to the fridge, and if you want I left word with the doorman , he’ll let up anything you order out, he’ll take care of the bill and I’ll reimburse him later. So get something to eat and above all rest….don’t wait up, I have a feeling it’s going to be a late one tonight. M Indeed It was long night. Thinking he didn’t attain his goal last night, his itch, his hunger would be unbearable. Bar after sleazy bar, I searched. Even came up with a few possibilities. My eyes were growing heavy, fatigue was setting in. Just when I was about to call it a night, I decided to try one more place. My first indication it was him, was that he was the only one to look at the door when I entered. even the bartender didn’t seem to care, much less notice. He was dressed too nice for a place like this. These people barely had jobs, who else would be in a dump like this at two a.m. The eleven o’clock news was being rebroadcast on an old.
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