I suddenly realised that a number of fellow campers had stopped to look at us. Although it didn't bother me I thought I'd better say something to Jacqui.'Jacqui, we seem to be centre stage.' I whispered.Jacqui said without lifting her head, 'I don't care. Let them look, but don't let go of me, please.' This was a new Jacqui to me, one that wasn't in control, more important one who needed me, if only for a while. I think I matured a couple of years with that realisation.I felt nothing, needed to be said, so I just held her tightly against my chest. Looking back I remember that oddly, even with Jacqui snugly in my arms, that I was not aroused. Jacqui eventually moved away from my arms, and I could see that she'd been crying. Wiping the tears away she told me, 'now put that tent back up. I'm not letting you leave me on my own.' She started to walk away, then noticing our small audience turned and said loud enough for everyone to hear. 'And then when you finished come to the caravan.'Of. And in many ways that's an injustice simply because that which I hide is my secret strength.I'm a fairly attractive woman. I'm intelligent, resourceful, creative, feminine, I'm a great mother to my kids, I love shopping and make up and perfume and in bed I am always the submissive partner and very adventurous with it. I am a sexy person, through and through. And it was that sexy person who helped me to see me for who and what I really am - I understand the way I am made.But it won't make it any easier to explain it:When I was a little girl, I was my mother's dolly. Sometimes she wanted me, other times she couldn't be bothered with me and always, always, she told me what to wear. She liked to show me off, I was an accessory. I had a wardrobe full of long dresses and frilly clothes. Nothing wrong with that, I still wear long dresses or mini skirts to this day, in the summer I wear next to nothing because I'm a woman and I can - it's so much more comfortable (plus I sweat a lot!). I.
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