Suffice it to say that your basic hippo seldom needs fiber supplements, and the amount of bulk in its diet provides for fecal matter on a heroic scale. As I watched in fascination, a turd of approximately five pounds was forcibly expelled from that big gray anus, directly into the path of that whirling tail. With a ‘ffrrruuuttttterrrrmmmmppppp’ sound, the spinning tail finely divided that wad of dung and hurled it in all directions. Since the tail was spinning in a vertical plane, the dung was flung in a correspondingly vertical spray pattern. E.g. in all directions except towards the main bulk of the hippo or backwards to where I was standing. I thought this to be fortunate. This process continued, in units of five to ten pounds, until something on the order of 100 pounds of hippo dung had been slung over an area about eighty feet across. The effluent never reached that 40 foot ceiling, but it didn’t miss by much. The much relieved pachyderm turned, gave a mighty yawn, returned. The first contact was a free phone call. Just long enough to get a feeling for what they were like, and explain the ground rules. The second contact would be just like a date. I'd meet them at a restaurant or movie or something like that. We'd spend some time together and get to know each other a bit better. They would treat me with complete and total respect and deferral. They were to candidly answer any question I asked completely and truthfully. I told them I don't promise the same, but that was more simply giving them what they wanted. I wanted them to understand me too, so, unless the question was too personal, I told them what they wanted to know. This was my chance to get to know them. First and foremost, I needed to get a feel of whether they were trustworthy and safe to be around, especially alone. There was one guy that just made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end. I never quite got a straight answer out of him. He was big and strong; not necessarily a bad.
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