'Well, ' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy MaryMother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quicklyDUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We. “Are you by chance feeling a little left out?” I asked with a laugh.“With me, it’s just a matter of far away blank looks, and a little stalking around the house. That is only because he knows that you and I are close. He’s a little afraid of you.” she said. “So you need to change the locks on this place, and end his fascination with it.”“You know, I’m not going to do that. Both of you have always had free access to this place. I will have a talk with him about using it for that purpose,” I agreed.“Why bother, you already told him not to use the house for his sexual meeting. You threatened to take away the pickup truck,” she said.“Then I’ll take it away so that he can ride to school with one or more of the other students, or ride the school bus,” I suggested. “Hey you can even drive him to school. Oh you can’t do that, because you are either working, or sleeping when he leaves.”“I know punishing him punishes me. It’s always been like that. Just tell me this Dad, why are you men such.
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