I recognise it through the clear plastic. It’s Wilson. I squeeze through the huddle around him.“Is he ok?” I shout at the ambulance guy.“You related?”“Sort of.” In the circumstances it’s easier than saying he’s a guy I fuck for money.“He collapsed. He’ll be ok. You’d better come in the ambulance.”And later, much later, there’s a neurologist and a comfy, private room and cups of tea and it’s hot and I feel close to passing out. I want to say, to their rictus smiles, that I’m not his wife or daughter. I’m not part of this. I’m a nobody who lets people down. But I look around and realise there’s no-one else for Wilson Reedy. So I stay.And when I leave the room alone later, I remember the single word they’ve bandied about: inoperable. And so here I am, weeks after his return from hospital, stroking his erection in bed, both of us naked and laughing at my acquired expertise in masturbation.“I might not be here in six months, so make the most of that,” he says. Wilson loves gallows humour,. The next morning at work it was as though nothing had happened she was still up to her teasing and trying to get me embarrassed in front of the other women with my I know what your thinking pants. The end of another week and the day before I had to get out of my place and still nowhere to go if I didn’t find anywhere it wouldn’t be the first time I’d slept in the car. At home Jenny was planted on the lounge staring off into space didn’t even acknowledge my existence. Jim was out the back knocking down a beer I asked him why wasn’t he packing and told me he had a plan. "I’ve stabbed you in the back figuratively speaking of course." Jim’s plan was to approach the agent and tell them I had left being the main troublemaker and he was more responsible and would like to stay on and they bought it. Nothing personal you understand. Understood, by the way some thing you might find interesting I told him about last night with Jenny and the episode with the knife and the heavy breathing but.
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