But Dad doesn’t hold me like that unless I am breaking things or hurting myself. Thomas can be mean.This morning my head was exploding with voices. That happens a lot. I don’t remember now what the voices were saying. It wouldn’t have mattered. I just couldn’t make them stop. I screamed to cover them up. I put my head down like a bull and charged. The top of my head crashed into the wall of my bedroom. The wall crumbled where I crashed into it. There was a top-of-my-head shaped hole on my side of the wall. If I’d run faster and harder I would have gone through the wall. Nothing could stop me. But my head hurt.Dad stopped me before I could try again. So I just screamed and screamed. My brother was talking too, maybe he was yelling at me. I don’t even know. I wasn’t hearing to his noise. All I could tell was Dad was holding me. His low voice helps to calm me, the sound, not the words. I don’t know what words he used. Finally, Dad got me into the kitchen eating breakfast. He gave me. .. I could see it through ... give the boy the few minutes that he’d clearly paid Brad for.Because if I did bale out Brad now, I would certainly be extracting my pound of flesh from him in the course of time. And that felt the more attractive choice.They were both looking at me; waiting. I stared back at them with a distasteful look and slowly unbuttoned my blouse. It fell open; revealing the white bra beneath. I placed my feet apart and lent back against the alley-wall, waiting.Brad’s nervous face broke into a grateful smile and he put his hand on the worried youth’s shoulder, “There you are Nicky the lady is waiting for you. Go get some!”The youth reluctantly came up to me and I put my hand on his cheek and stroked his ear. He tried to smile. I pulled his head onto my chest and he gave a kind of whimper. I took his hand and put it onto my breast and he began to loosen up some. I felt down for his jean’s waistband and unclipped the waist button.His breath quickened as I ran his zip.
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