Geoff was scheduled to face the Board in Thurrock to gain his Master’s certificate so he could skipper Thames barges. It was hardly a formality, but he passed. “They asked me what I’d do if my Mate reported water over the ceiling* in the saloon while we were off Walton, heading north in a strong sou-westerly.”*In a Thames barge, the ‘ceiling’ is actually the floor. Don’t ask me why. In a yacht, it’s the the ‘sole’.“What did you say?”“I’d expect a certain amount of water in the bilge. All barges leak to some extent unless they’ve been recently rebuilt, and the bilge-pump is on the port side. Obviously, in a sou-westerly, the barge’ll be heeling to starboard and the bilge-pump will be out of any water. So I told them that, and that I’d take in the top-sail to get her more upright, and take a look myself. If necessary, take in the sails and proceed under power.”“And they were happy with that?”“I don’t know about happy. But they passed me. The thing is, those boats are all old. I added. Scientific Method, read this!]AND WHY AN ENGLISH TEACHER IS SUSPICIOUS ABOUT SCIENCEThe British Medical Journal had readers vote for the top non-diseases. "We wanted to prompt a debate on what is and what is not a disease and draw attention to the increasing tendency to classify people's problems as diseases," said the editor. A condition labeled as a disease may bring sympathy, exemption from commitments, sick pay, free prescriptions, insurance payments, and access to facilities. Ageing was #1. Bags under eyes was #4. Baldness was #6. Cellulite was #15. Penis envy was #17, just ahead of road rage.[So you science types are into penis envy too!][Well, Hollyhock, when we're old, bags under our eyes and cellulite will be major problems, so I'm glad they're doing the research.]We thus conclude that penis envy is real, even if we don't want one dangling in our way.[But that still doesn't cover why you're wearing the codpiece, Cindi. Here's about the word itself.]CODPIECE, THE WORDA.
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