Someone called Joannadoes not wear male underwear, does she? Why do you think I gave you afemale name, you imbecile?"None of this made any sense, but I knew that arguing was pointless."Sorry, Miss, I will buy some tomorrow," I replied, thinking thatordering some lingerie over the internet sounded quite exciting."No!" she exclaimed, "You will go and buy some now." But it's nearly 7 o'clock!" I responded, my disbelief telling in myvoice. "The shops will be closed." Not the supermarkets," she riposted, "they're open 24 hours a day andthey sell underwear. Give me your wallet. Quickly!"I bent down, pulled my wallet from my trousers and passed it to her. Sheextracted a note from it. "Right," she said, "Here's ?10. You will go tothe nearest supermarket and buy yourself a plain white bra, a pair ofwhite cotton panties and a pair of black tights. Obviously they need tobe in your size. I don't want to see any fancy frills or lace, andnothing sexy. You are buying cheap, plain underwear. I hope. I headed again for the hallway and I heard Aunt Alice say, "Looks likeyou win this round, Joan." Hearing "my" name I headed back into thekitchen. The ladies broke into giggles as my mother informed me that Mrs.Peters was talking to her. My face went crimson as I turned around andheaded back to the sanctuary that was my room.I sat on my bed once again lost in thought. At last I decided to give Sama call and see if she wanted to do anything. I dialed her number andwaited for her to pick up. She answered on the first ring. "Sam?" Iinquired. "What's up Joan?" came her reply. I sighed inaudibly thinking if I wasgoing to end this "Joan" business, I'd have to do it soon. Still, I knewthe phone wasn't the place to do it. "Not much. You want to do something?" "Sure, what did you have in mind?" I had no idea what to do, so I went onthe offense. "Now wait a minute Sam, I can't be deciding all the time what we're goingto do, can I?" She laughed and said, "No, I guess not. Give me ten minutes and.
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