I buried the pink dress at the bottom ofthe laundry pile.I sat on the couch, watching TV and dreading the night. The musiccontinued for hours... Ace of Base followed on the stereo upstairs ?another "when I'm angry" classic of hers...I'm not sure which happened first, whether I fell asleep on the couch,or the music stopped blaring... But at 4 am, when I restlessly woke up,the music had stopped.I pondered the events. Everything rang through my head over and over.Especially the "You just don't understand" fiasco. It all seemedsurreal, yet very painful.I dosed back off again.As the sun came up, it shined in through the blinds in the den, acrossthe couch where I laid, and onto my face. As I blinked my eyes and satup, I glanced at the clock ? 6:45am.The TV was still on quietly. As my head cleared of the sleepy cobwebs,the program on TV went silent between commercials, and I could make outthe sound of my girlfriend upstairs talking. Not clearly enough to makeout the words, just that. It was just past my eighteenth birthday so I could now legally drink in pubs and was learning to drive in my Mum’s already elderly Mini. I thought I was so grown-up! Of course I was mostly working flat out for my forthcoming exams the following May and June, with the exciting prospect intended for all of us in our Private School – getting into a good University. There was a lot of sport too – there was always a lot of good, healthy sport in Private schools – but I enjoyed that too. Apart from being a break from the relentless pressure of academic work, it helped to keep me in shape physically and for an eighteen year old girl in 1983, being good looking was very important indeed. Very tall for a girl, skinny and dark like my older brother Michael, I suppose I was considered quite good looking but had always felt self conscious about my height and tended to dress down and be a bit shy. On the few occasions when I wanted to look a little sexier and not being confident in my own dress.
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