It reminded me also of other things… of former lovers who’d smoked, it was a little comforting to have that connection, even if it were for so brief an instant. The wind seemed to smoke the cigarette for me while I contemplated… it certainly didn’t give me as much time to think as the last cigarette… but that was just as well. I finally patted the cigarette out on my hand, cursing myself for not having the strength to just grind the cherry against my palm the way I had last time… yet a part of me was thankful that I hadn’t actually reached the state of numbness that allowed me to do that without really feeling it. I unbuttoned my sleeve, & spent some time fingering the scars on my arm where I’d branded myself that other night. My ‘reminders’… the words NO ONE on my left arm, & ALONE on my right ankle… intended in fits of self anger to protect me from this… & remind me of my place in the world. They were a couple months old now, & I wondered again if they needed to be renewed.. "Downstairs. Can I come up?" Jill, it's your place as much as it is mine." OK, I love you."I started to say "I love you," but heard dial tone before the words were out of my mouth.I hung up the phone and walked into the living room only to have Jill jump in my arms. She grabbed me around the neck and wrapped her legs around my waist. I had no choice but to put my arms around her. Her mouth clung to mine and we kissed until we had to break to breathe."This isn't what I was expecting when I got home." It's a good thing you didn't get home sooner or you wouldn't have gotten it." Oh?" Yeah. So, I got something for you."She went over to the chair closest to the door and picked something up. She must have thrown whatever it was down as she came into the apartment. She held it out to me, a smile on her face."Is that what I think it is?" I don't know. What do you think it is?" Reese's Pieces?"She smiled a little more. "Yep." How did you know?" Mary and I had a little talk this afternoon..
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