For me this wasn’t over. This was far from over.My feet had wings. I ran so fast I could hear the wind whistling past my ears.I ran down Dennis Ave, and then stopped. I skidded down the river bank to sit on the shore. I curled up in a semi-fetal position, my arms wrapped around my knees, and stared into the rushing water in front of me.I was crying. I couldn’t face anything. Hobos are strong? Bullshit.I’m weak. So god damned weak. It doesn’t take strength to deal with the problems of others’ creation, really. You can fix it, and laugh at their mistakes or misfortunes.Fixing problems of your own creation, though, that’s a different story entirely.I couldn’t bring myself to clean up a mess I had left myself in. A mess I started years ago, and just kept making worse. Children- half a dozen or more, many of which have never met each other. Lovers, women I’ve loved, scattered around the country like buckshot. Women I’d hurt. People I’d killed. A love who meant the world to me who died.. And at the end of each day's shoot, she would go home, almost shaking with anticipation, trembling at the delicious thought of how she was going to enjoy herself, lost in the sensual memories and fantasies surrounding Emi.Her nightly routine was something like this.Barely dry after her bath, wrapped in a towel, she dimmed the lights and arranged her big mirror to face the large shag pile rug. With her pillow nearby, she knelt down in front of the mirror, closing her eyes to remember Emi's words."I love to watch myself here, Yui"."When I'm naked, all I want to do is love myself, touch myself..."Yui let the towel fall from her shoulders, and threw it to one side, as her hands explored her warm, smooth skin. She recalled the way Emi talked about wanting to kiss herself all over, and how she lovingly touched her legs when she mentioned them, her lovely shoulders, her slender arms. Yui's gentle hands explored her body, caressing herself with such sensual loving, sometimes grabbing a.
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