I kept telling myself that I wouldn’t let it go too far and wouldn’t get too caught up in it. I convinced myself that I was still faithful to my husband, that I hadn’t done anything but just fantasize in my mind. Besides, even if I do get a little touchy with my son, there wasn’t anything really wrong with that. In my heart, I knew that everything I had just said were lies, but I needed to hear it; that even if they were lies, it, in some twisted way, kept my morality in check. I was just worried that, like earlier, I wouldn’t be able to resist myself if things got too far. True to my fears, it was only an hour later when I sat waiting restlessly in the kitchen for Chris to come home. I wanted to see him, and more importantly, I wanted to feel my lips on him, even if it was just a motherly kiss on the cheek. 2:25 my watch read, only a few more minutes. My heart was racing while I eagerly anticipated his return. I felt like I was back in high school, waiting for my date to come and. You, Hine, Newa and Joanna spend most of the day at “woman’s work”, baking bread and preparing side dishes and salads.After the food everyone lounges around having a few beers and chatting quietly in the lengthening shadows. At your request I bring the stereo speakers out onto the patio and you and Joanna show Hine, her boyfriend Tane and the young roustabouts how you city girls dance. The young bucks find you fascinating and you bask in their hot-blooded attention. But, every so often, you glance in my direction to make sure I am watching.Hine and her boyfriend disappear. In the rural backcountry sexual liaisons are as natural as breathing and they start at an early age. One of the roustabouts, a handsome Maori lad, is talking to you earnestly. I can see by his gestures that he is trying to get you to leave the crowd, to go out into the darkness with him. You smilingly refuse. You must be doing it very graciously, because he does not look crushed.The other roustabout tries. He can’t.
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