I found a note on the table from my Mom. She was meeting Jim for dinner. If I had known, I’d have invited Kelly to share leftovers, but she probably had plans for Saturday night anyway. As I heated up some spaghetti in the microwave, I wondered if I should go to church tomorrow and try to talk to Jeryl. I had skipped church last Sunday, not wanting to face her. It’s not like I believed my soul was at stake.Did I really want to date Jeryl?I pondered the question as I ate.It was obvious that I was not in the relationship for sex, since we hardly had a steady sexual relationship. I was strongly attracted to her, but was there more than that? Was she something I had lusted after in my past and now was afraid to let go of?And if I did want a relationship, what could I do to address the issues Mom had raised? Her insecurity was a result of my unavailability. At least part of it was, anyway. What could I do about that?I heated another bowl of spaghetti and continued to think about it.Of. The only thing that encouraged the thought was the fact Trenton would be so amused by it. I’m sure the thought of his dick inside such a young woman would be a dream come true. The thought just wasn’t enough to push me though. “So Trenton, what are you plans for the day?”“Well not much Leah. I guess I’d watch a program or two.”Poor guy, I guessed right when I thought he had little to motivate him. I’m sure seeing me everyday was better entertainment that what was on the television. “Oh that must be fun.”Gosh I didn’t know what to say and I was sure I was sounding really dumb at this point. I just stabbed at what ever came to mind in hopes I could spur a conversation. “I hope so or else my day is shot.”“Maybe we can have a drink or something Trenton. You know…get to know one another better.”“That would be great Leah, I would love to talk with you more.”Trenton and I small talked for a bit. If only he knew what I wanted. What if he knew how I fantasized about him and how I wrote.
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