“If you have a question, ask me” the teacher tersely replied.“Okay,” he answered “Do you want to go out with me Friday night?”“You know, it’s at times like these when I’m trapped in an airlock with an alien and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young!”“Why, what did she tell you?”“I don’t know, I didn’t listen!”According to the Knight Rider News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the US Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated as “Wash. Biol. Surv”; until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:“Dear Sirs:While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and want to tell you it tasted horrible.”The bands are now marked “Fish & Wildlife Service”.“I’ve got this thing for tall, lean men.”. The next thing I had to do for my picnic was to drive a couple of blocks to Little Caesar’s Pizza. I took whatever was ready, then had them pack the pieces in a paper bag. It was easier to carry that way. Then I was off to the Haw River View with my pizza. I would be in heaven for a few minutes anyway.I ate two of the slices, then wrapped the bag tight. I had known all along that I wouldn’t finish the pizza. When I left twenty minutes later, I carried the pizza with me. It gave me a chance to try out the new scooter saddlebags. The saddle bags were much easier to handle than the backpack, which tried to pull me off the scooter backwards, had been.I got a wild hair up my ass after the pizza. I wanted to start fancying up the place. First thing would be painting the walls. That was a DYI project, so I began researching finishes for the concrete block interior. After the research, I was determined to stucco the interior walls. That is until I read how long it takes to do it. I couldn’t.
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