It was only when she offered me the spray that deadens the nerves in your throat to help swallow, that I knew she'd been watching me."I broke down and cried. She was almost as scared as I when she understood that I'd flushed the pellet Part of her job was to make sure I brought all the pellets to my contact. She was also scared because she said if we delayed too much getting to customs it would make them suspicious. She gave me a crushed pill to calm my nerves and watched as I carefully washed my hands and arms to remove any trace of the powder. She did not walk me all the way to customs, but had alerted my contact somehow as I retrieved my luggage."I cleared customs without any sort of search and in public my contact looked like the lonely, loving father he was pretending to be. As soon as we reached the motel, he became a monster. He slapped me very hard several time and called me all sorts of names. He made me strip, the first time I'd ever done that in front of a man, and he. He's going to get to the point an the point is going to pull out an emotional knife and it's going to cut my heart open when he says he's leaving me for what I?ve done. "I discovered a few things?" he continued but Michelle finally found her voice and interrupted him."Gary, before you say anything else? If you'll just let me explain a couple of?" Gary held up his hand and silenced her without saying a word. She slumped in her seat. That's it. I'm alone. I'm exactly where I didn't want to be. He's going to leave me."As our time together passed, the one thing in this life I was afraid of was living without you. If you had never come around in the early days, then I would have gone on. I would never have been happy but I would have gone on."He suddenly looked about, "God isn't it beautiful up here?" He looked at her waiting for a response but she said nothing. To Gary she looked like someone waiting for an ax blow across her neck. He blundered on wondering if he was going to be able to.
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