And why not? While they both had been ostracized by the other kids during high school, it was Roger who had borne the brunt of their cruel jokes and isolation. She felt guilty, not just for having turned him down for the Halloween Dance, but also for the fact that while she did not actually engage in making fun of him, her own attempts at being accepted meant she often said nothing and let the cruelties go by when she should have said something, helped the boy who truly needed her, yet another reason to chip away at her self esteem. I should have stood by him, she thought. I should have been his friend and instead I put my efforts into trying to get the other kids to accept me. No wonder he harbors such resentment toward them ... and me.But Maria did not have long to contemplate her past mistakes as another customer was already knocking on the door. She made her way to answer the door and to ultimately provide her services.Over the next few days, Maria noticed several changes. For. Beth was sitting at the table in one of my tee shirts and staring out the French doors into the backyard.I walked up behind her, kissed her on the top of her head, and asked, “So, how are you feeling this morning? Are you okay?”Beth snuggled back into my arms and sighed, “So is this what it feels like? To really be loved, to have someone give a shit about you...” and she broke into tears in my arms.I slid down to hold her in my arms as I held her close while she shook. I caressed her arms and face as I let her cry herself out.“Tell me about it.” I said as she wound down.“It’s so hard, sometimes ... I’m a nice person, really I am...” I nodded and hugged her close when she looked up for confirmation.“I mean, I’ve tried to be good, but I just end up being a ‘turd magnet’. If there is an abusive, mean, nasty man within fifty miles of me, not only will they find me, but I’ll end up dating them. Shit! I used to hate myself, but really that didn’t accomplish much now, did it?” Beth looked.
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