I can’t connect anymore. People don’t make sense to me. All I know is that loving them can wound me, so it’s better to run. I think I loved Carl. That’s why I drove him away. Better to be the hated ex, the girl who cheated with his best friend, than the girl he fell in and then out of love with. I didn’t want to give him a piece of my heart to take away with him when we separated. Changes happen. People go their separate ways. Should I allow my body and spirit to go their separate ways? The body goes into the oven of course, no burial for me. Why make my relatives pay for a two thousand dollar box for worm fodder? I’d want my ashes to be scattered somewhere nice though. A river. Some place where the air is sweet and you can’t see any buildings through the trees. I want someone to pour a bottle of wine into the water, too, a final send-off as the last earthly bits of me slip downriver to the ocean. Now, as to what happens to the spirit, that’s another question entirely. I’ve never. .." she groaned. "Let me vacuum your beautiful cock. Then I will vacuum your room while you are gone." Then she sat up and pinched her nipples sending her milk flying over to his face. He turned to avoid getting splashed in the eye. They sat their playing but Kevin wanted to get out of the bed. "Oh My God!" she groaned. "My son doesn't love me anymore!"The realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Slowly, painfully she removed her hands from her body and dragged herself to the bed. Her sorrow turned to anger. The boy she had dedicated her life to, the one who she thought will love her forever, had already outgrown her and her milk laden breasts."If Kevin doesn't want me anymore, I won't embarrass him or myself." she promised as she tossed and turned in her king sized bed. She inhaled the bed sheet. It smelled of their love. So much mom-son fluids had fallen into that bed that the mattress was full of their love. The pain of separation combined with shame of rejection by her true.
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