" I muttered to myself.Why?"Because I can't control..."Have you tried to control the feelings? Tried to control the process? No, you panicked and went looking for someplace else to put them so you wouldn't have to deal with them. You are one chicken-shit sonofabitch ain't'cha?I was going from feeling nothing to being overwhelmed by feelings. Unpleasant feelings to be sure, but I'd dealt with worse in the past, hadn't I?Could anything be worse than feeling someone you love suffer and die?Could anything feel worse? I'd survived that ... how had I survived that?You survived it by making it a part of you, taking it in and accepting it for what it was. You didn't run from it or hide it. It made you one miserable fuckin' asshole to be around for a few years, but you survived. You can do the same thing with this batch. If you're willing to suffer. You are willing to suffer, aren't you martyr-boy?"I'm no martyr."Sure you are. You love the idea of carrying the weight and suffering of the. " I do mum," I leered. "Oh believe me I do, but how am I supposed to climb trees with an erection like this?"She reached up and kissed me lingeringly."Just keep thinking about where you're going to put it when we've finished," she said softly. "How's this for a scenario? A warm bath, some cold champagne, and a hot, horny woman." Champagne?" Well cider then, oh and a couple of joints just for good measure."I nearly broke my neck in my haste to get out and get on with it.It took six hours of climbing up the ladder, climbing trees, balancing precariously on branches, reaching, stretching, but I can say honestly that we enjoyed every minute of it.We stole kisses at every opportunity, sexy little gropes made us giggle like kids behind the bike shed at school. Once as she reached up for a high branch, I unfastened her shirt and swinging round like a latter day Tarzan, sucked each delicious little nipple as her breasts hung free and she squealed with laughter, unable to do anything else but.
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