‘Damn,’ Jed says, enjoying the increased blood-traffic crotch-wards, ‘you’re hot when you’re angry. I mean, you’re hot when you’re not, but anger definitely gives it an edge.’ Even in the subdued lighting he knows she’s blushing. Curls tossed slightly askew post-dancing, manner a tad blurry and flustered from drink, she looks divine. Divinely do-able. He savours the luxury of that evil thought. The more space he allows it, the more it determines his actions. Every word, every glance, every gesture. He’s in this game now, in it deep – soon, he hopes, balls-deep – allowing every other aspect of his nature be consumed by one. Hell, the secret stowed in his inside breast pocket alone would derail his career and fuck up his life. He knows he’s committed.Lily laughs at his compliment, a whole other kind of hot now. ‘Sorry, I…’‘Don’t be.’ Jed smiles at her outburst but adopts a reassuring tone. ‘It’s beats keeping it all in. I get it – you’re lively, you’re attractive, you want to cut loose. Life had lost all of its meaning for me, so I just lived inside myself, silently watching my days pass by, one by one, through unseeing eyes. The only time I really felt alive was when I was playing the piano. It had been my passion before the accident, and afterwards I had learned how to play from feel rather than sight, which wasn’t as big of a leap as it might seem. I wasn’t the pianist I used to be, but it still was my comfort zone where, even though I couldn’t see the keys, I still felt like I knew what I was doing and could do it well. There was a piano in the school auditorium and I was allowed to go there whenever I wanted to play. I spent endless hours there with only Beethoven, Mozart, and Schumann as my companions, and while I enjoyed playing more than anything else, I know that time alone only added to the seclusion I was falling further and further into. Not much about my classes made an impression on me. I was blessed with a good memory, which meant that I had to do.
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