I can't really talk about it." I get it, Mark, I get it. You sly dog!"I threw myself back into my work for the next couple of weeks, catching up on projects that had changed while I was gone. I still thought about Riley constantly, and I wondered how her summer job was going.About three weeks after I'd returned from Miami, my phone rang just after I got home from work one evening. I glanced at the screen, and my heart caught in my throat when I realized it was Riley's mother calling me."Hi Jennifer," I said."Mark. Hi. How are you?" I'm good. How are you, how's everyone?" We're all fine. Mark, Riley just left to work an evening shift at Publix and so I wanted to call you while she's not around." Is she OK?" I asked, worriedly."She's physically OK, but Mark -- I have to tell you, she's lovesick and misses you terribly. This 'one month without contact' thing has been hard on her, much harder than Jim and I realized it would be." It's been hard on me too," I admitted. "I miss her."I. We're not supposed to want sex, we're supposed to use it. We're not supposed to be attracted to a male body; maleness is supposed to be an ugly and silly thing that we tolerate for its usefulness. Knowing that I didn't feel this way, and being encouraged to think I was alone in it, did wonders to isolate me from my own sex for fear of its judgment, and to make even just experiencing lust seem so taboo that it was made all the stronger.So, with a boiling sex drive I wasn't supposed to have, and very specific tastes that seemed unmeetable, I was almost convinced that I was somehow broken on both levels and that I would go on like this, desperate for the impossible, through the rest of my life.That's how primed I was for Kyle.Catching a lot of flak for being short and skinny and perceived as pretty feminine, girls called Kyle cute and treated him like a little brother; boys were more vicious. But I think the treatment from the girls hurt him more. Yet I thought he was beautiful.When the.
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