The silence and the waiting killed me. But I knew they would tell me to wait another day.I called her cell phone again. It was as dead as before. In sheer frustration I threw my phone through the room.I tried to call two of her girl friends, but could not find their numbers. I once more phoned her agency to hear if she had maybe called again. The secretary of her department was surprised, as she had already told me Belle had called in sick.I felt sick with guilt. I had driven her away with my lack of confidence. I should have known better. I should have known how fragile she was. How easy to hurt right at the heart of her weakness.I poured a tall whisky and sat down.Had I pushed her back to the edge, maybe even pushed her over it? Well done, Walter! Yes, my clumsy, heartless accusation had done exactly that. I had turned it into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh God, I saw what I'd done. Damn stupid idiot.I groaned, swallowed the whisky and started to cry.We went to a Friday's, the. "He has a list he's circulating everywhere. I think he even gave it to the AMS people to warn performers who might work with me." Then let's get rid of the fucker," Rhett said simply. It was how the industry handled troublemakers – just like it would handle Tony and Lance. Your work dried up and rumors started to pop up about why. It could be a rumor of AIDS or maybe that you preferred gay work."He's got someone bankrolling him," Hannah St. Cloud (or Sadie Strutt) offered. "He told me that's how that feature is getting done. He is financing it himself." That's his?" Rhett asked. "Who is the money man? It can't be Daystar or Dazzle. They're strictly small time. Judy Jackem can't afford rent half the time. It's not her. If we find out who is backing him, we can expose them. Believe me, I learned this week that the pricks with the big bucks do not like to be equated to fuck flicks." He didn't say who it was," Hannah admitted. "He just said he financed it himself. It might be his.
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