Jean sits in front of me so I can soap her back, her tits and tummy and put my hand down to stroke her pubic hair. As we dried ourselves off Jean asked if I had downloaded the videos. I replied that I had and she suggested we go to bed for a cuddle and watch the videos. Was I hearing right I thought, Jean suggesting we watch videos of couples having sex, a first after over 45 years of marriage. Sitting in bed we went through the videos and she didn’t say anything and I thought it safer not to mention her insistence that videos are pornography, her argument from the day before. When we got to the end I turned off the laptop and we lay down for a cuddle, Jean was quiet. A short while later she said quietly “I’m sorry I wouldn’t do what you asked over the years”. Having no idea what she was talking about I asked her to explain. She replied that she had thought that normal women did not suck their partner’s cock or give them a wank or allow their partner’s to finger them on a public. The anonymity one feels in a university larger than many cities is nearly total, so the relationships cultivated there are especially comforting in so uncomfortably vast a community.As night drew on, I showered and shaved, spritzed and primped, but didn't know exactly what I was preparing for. I threw some things into my bag, which I probably wouldn't need, for an evening all of forty feet from my own room. When the time of our date arrived, my heart raced, but my feet belied any alacrity I felt, because dorm-floor rumors ignited and spread like a wildfire, which more than anything, I didn't want Sarah fleeing from. I arrived, but she was not in her room. No one had seen her. No messages were left.I retreated to my room and waited, hoping she had just been delayed in some long-running seminar, but after several walks down the hall, I began despairing that she had had a change of heart. Dana, my roomie, tried to get me to forget whatever guy I was obsessing over, and go bar-hopping.
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