It must have seemed like I was an out of control cheating wife, I sure as hell did my best to seem something like that. Going to the bar, picking up a total stranger and blowing him in a doorway was the best I could improvise. It did give me a surge of adrenaline and then when Chris 'rescued' me in the hotel afterwards I knew that Chris was solidly with me.Why didn't I give it up right then? There was still too much going on in my head. I still felt disgusted with myself. Chris not throwing me out made me even more confused— the opposite of what I thought ought to happen.At first I doubted Chris, finding it hard to believe that he could still want me. When my doorway escapade didn't get me thrown out I should have felt great. I didn’t. Maybe it was the adrenaline still surging around my veins or maybe things simply take time to sink in. I was confused and unsettled with one thing after another bouncing around my head.I knew I had to think, I had to get myself on an even keel, but if I. You know, she would tell me about you. When I hit puberty and started wearing a bra, she would tell me how she would buy sexy lingerie for you, but still you wouldn't fuck her. I guess she should have bought the lingerie for you, you pansy! "Yeah, she told me how you would never fuck her. I wasn't even old enough to know what fucking was, and she would warm me not to marry some gay-ass pansy that wouldn't fuck my pussy! That's right. She told me how you wouldn't even fuck your own wife and that she had to go find other men to satisfy her. And that she thought that you were a faggot! Look at you wearing my panties with a hard-on! I bet you are a fag! And one with a pathetically small dick too! "It's a good thing Mom warned me. When I go out with Mike or any other guy, I let him fuck me all the time. In fact I beg for it. It's the greatest feeling in the world—to have a big cock fucking your pussy! What a puny little prick you have sissy! How did Mom ever put up with that little thing!.
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