‘Is someone in here?’ she yelled. No one responded. With hesitation, she started walking up the stairs again. ‘Please don’t forget the glass jar, Stephanie,’ the voice said. Stephanie’s heart started to beat against her chest like a musician beating on a set of drums. ‘Who’s there? This isn’t funny.’ Stephanie held the banister tight. She was afraid to let go. She feared falling backwards and killing herself, because she finally recognized the voice she heard. ‘Mother?’ ‘Turn around, Stephanie.’ ‘No.’ ‘Why not? I’m not going to hurt you. I’m your mother, not a hell’s angel.’ ‘I thought you were dead.’ ‘Yeah, and I thought you were going to take the glass jar with you.’ ‘That’s why you’re here? To make sure I take that ugly jar with me.’ ‘Yes. I won’t be able to rest until I know you’re going to fulfill the promise you made to me before my light was extinguished.’ ‘What?’ ‘Before I died, Stephanie.’ ‘Well, I was going to take it, mother.’ ‘You are such a liar. I saw you. ‘Go on then.’ God said. It was as if he took away all my boundaries, all my self respect. I felt like an animal almost, well compared to something so divine as our God I was an animal off course. I just followed my instincts, my impulses, they were too overwhelming. Until God told me that it looked like I was getting used to it, then suddenly I could think somewhat more clearly again. I started blushing, suddenly ashamed of what I did. Now I was ready to start touching his skin, he said. First I was allowed to kiss his bare foot. I was lying flat on the ground my lips pressing against the divine skin. God was stepping onto me, pushing me even further into the ground, telling me what a small human I was and how unneccesary and meaningless my thoughts were in the face of his all knowing mind. Then he told me to roll over. I was lying on my back now and God pressed his bare foot into my face. Then he ordered me to hurt myself. I had to squeeze my nipples real hard as I was.
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