Nor was it thedisassociation between mind and body one might experience in such asituation - it was, in fact, the very lack of that sensation that hadpetrified her.Try as she might, for she knew logically she should, she found herselfunable to find her new body odd, unwelcoming or alien in the slightest.It was probably in the wording of Ian's remark, she knew, but thatdidn't help her shift her subconscious away from this mundane acceptanceof her situation.She was, simply put, a woman. She knew logically that she was meant tobe a man, that her name was meant to be Joel, and that she should feelfreaked out and terrified at being stuck in this body, but she was nolonger able to feel these things to be true.But eventually, fatigue got the best of her and she collapsed into herbed. At least, she thought in her exhaustion-blurred mind, she couldsleep easy. Had she not been cursed into acceptance of her now permanentgender change, she might well be freaking out, and kept awake by her. Fortunately, she is desperate for love and I'm the only one she knows to provide it.Of course, all this didn't stop me from trying to cop feels and giving her a bit more kisses than she would expect. Any time she complained that I was her brother, I'd respond, "No, I'm your date." Considering that she didn't let her dates cop feels either, this wasn't a very good excuse. But her dates dumped her pretty quickly whereas I am quite persistent. I find it ironic how much effort it takes to become a hopeless loser. When she whined a bit more than usual, I would just threaten to break up with her. Not in those words, of course. A few well-placed remarks that it really isn't working and she would complain about the touching much less. It is a mystery to me why none of her boyfriends tried similar tactics. Most girls respond to that stuff with dumping but my sister probably would have just put up with it. With me, she has no choice but to put up with it. I'm her last chance at love.After a.
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