He did not want to hurt anyone, but his incapacity to collide with anything other than himself was a prescription for self- assured annihilation, and he wouldn’t buck the force that separated him from what he truly desired, as this force seemed to confiscate all that was beautiful from him while allowing him to exist at the same time. He allowed for such a trade-off and lived at some predetermined level of being. The game, however, had always been the same: to stay in one’s own particular universe and hope that one can worm one’s way out of one’s predicament without really trying, because it was too risky to try to escape his broken world and actually live in better circumstances. And so he kept shuffling ahead as calmly as his own world dictated, almost like a soldier, if only to rid himself of the sights and sounds of blight.He saw the local blacks on the street, their eyes speaking to him, and their dark eyes whispering that he shouldn’t go into a bar alone and not go too wayward. I took my clothes off, forgetting, in the familiarity of my bedroom,that I had an audience and was soon standing there, bare breasted, inmy boxers. I became aware that Jules was staring at me there."You'll need panties under the skirt to hold you in a bit," she said.She handed me a pair, without thinking I took my boxers off and thennoticed she was staring at my flaccid penis, I put my hand over it inembarrassment."Sorry I am so used to stripping in front of Mary in this room," I saidapologetically."Can I see it?" she asked.I took my hands off my dick."Can you still get an erection, you know after taking the hormones?"she asked."Not easily," I replied, "it usually takes a while and I have to playwith my boobs too" Like this?" she said, as she touched my nipple with her finger andslowly traced my areola.I felt an electric charge go through me, Mary had refused to touch methere and we had not had sex since some months before she gave birth,so it was a new experience to be caressed on my.
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