Used. Half the city probably thinks I'm a slut. I'm afraid I'll be walking around the mall and some white guy's gonna recognize me. God! I can't believe he did that to me." Are you going to divorce him?" Lisa asked slowly."I don't know," I sighed. "I don't feel like I love him right now." He's not gonna change," Lisa predicted, pushing her glasses up her nose. "I mean, it's in his head. Richard wants what he wants, same as everybody does." Why can't he just want me?" I frowned and then I was crying again. "What about what I want?" This isn't a good idea," I decided and I was ready to get back into the taxi, but Sheila was holding my hand."Why?" she asked and I really hated that question."I'm still married, for one thing," I frowned at her."You're separated," she told me. "That means you get to play the field." Doesn't change the fact..." That you're going to jump off a bridge if you don't have some fun?" Sheila cut me off. "Come on now, you look fantastic. Put on a smile. There's. . well...it's just been a while."There was still some aspect of Britney's history that I couldn't quitegrasp that Ally would have known. I resolved to read through Ally'sjournals this weekend so that I wouldn't be caught unprepared again.But I was able to return her sentiment at least and said, "I didn'texpect to stay here tonight, but I'm glad I did. Next time though, Ithink we'll do this at my place." Deal! And I can find out some more about my potential future husbandSteve."I suppressed a laugh and simply said, "Goodnight Bea."I listened as she settled into her bed, "Sweet dreams!", she repliedquietly before silence settled into the room.As I listened to the soft breathing of Britney beside me, I couldn'thelp by laugh at the absurdity of it all. I imagined that my firstnight with a girl would be memorable, but I never could have come upwith something as fantastical as the situation I found myself in now.Well, at least I survived by 'date' with Mike mostly intact, even if Inow.
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