I didn’t date, and didn’t want to. Inevitably, I would have compared any woman to Rowan, and it would have been hard to find anyone who could have survived the comparison.Rowan was brilliant and creative, a painter whose gallery shows did very well and a poet who was published in major magazines (even, once, The Atlantic); her lightning intuition and gift for seeing things from a different angle from everyone else played very well off my analytical approach to life, and her spontaneity did much to balance my tendency to overthink and overplan things. She was also a loving and supportive wife, my biggest encourager, and a sexual firecracker. I always had her back, and she always had mine—and when we were alone, she usually had my cock. We made a fantastic team.We had to. We started dating in junior high and got married right after we graduated high school, because we were each other’s ticket out—out of town, out of our families’ clutches, out. We put ourselves through college, then me. She said the scarything was that she was unable to find any man that attracted heremotionally. And she was never able to make any real friends with women." She must have been horribly lonely," I said."The word she used was superfluous; she said she felt like she was asuperfluous person. She didn't fit anywhere." Why doesn't she go back to being Emil?" I asked. "Why does she go toLiving-It-Out?" I asked her the same thing," Nathan replied. Then he paused for a fewmoments as if struggling to remember what he had been told. "She said shehad thought about it, thought seriously on several occasions but justcouldn't figure out how to do it." Just change clothes," I suggested, but Nathan chuckled."Isn't that all Timothy has done so far--change clothes--and how much of adifference has that made? Imagine if you changed clothes and tried tolive as a man." But my anatomy is..." I began and stopped."Yes," Nathan replied. "Emily has the same anatomical appearance as youand has had it for 30 years.
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