It was what her sanity urged her to go for. But did she really want that life? If so, why did even the thought of it make her lose confidence? Where did this feeling of incompleteness come from? Why this fear of being lonely — so very lonely?While struggling she was appalled by her repeating need to go back to Angique. Why feel that? Going back would mean losing whatever she still had, wouldn't it? Forever? So why this ache to surrender? Why fall back into the sweet velvet hole behind those emerald eyes and succumb to the hypnotizing voice of the woman?Could she hang on and stay away from Angique? Was she prepared to pay the prize for restoring her pride: a sane but utterly bored, unsatisfied and lonely life? Deep down she knew she couldn't — it was as if she'd accept to live with one arm, one leg and one eye. Could she even exist inside this fractured being, knowing that her pride would keep her incomplete forever?She whispered the questions, but knew the answer. It was an answer. If you can come back tomorrow, I'll tape your hands like I promised and really give you a workout." he said.I was so tired I couldn't speak."We open at 8 AM Porter, anytime after that will be fine," he said. They call me Reggie around here.I just nodded and staggered to my car. It was difficult to do anything that night. My arms felt like they had a mind of their own. I managed to heat a frozen dinner in the microwave then clean up and fall into bed. The combination of the three mile run and the hour on the heavy bad had taken a real toll me. It really felt good to fall into bed and go right to sleep."You do know, you look like you have been in a fight already," Reggie said."Yeah, I was in a fight, kind of, and the other guy didn't do any better than me." I said."Good for you. So did you run first today, before you came?" he asked."No, I'm going to run after, if I'm able," I said."Do you run through the streets of town like Rocky?" he asked as he taped my hands."No, around the.
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