There was just nothing that fit together logically. He said things. I said things. My husband said things. All of it was a confused jumble in my mind. I didn't want to hit him. I didn't want to hurt him. I just wanted him to know what I felt. I hurt. Javon held me tight. Whether it was to keep me from hitting or just to help me calm down soon stopped mattering to me. I went limp in his arms crying softly. "Just love me baby. Please, just love me."When he picked me up and carried me upstairs, I let myself submit, totally. I kept telling myself I wouldn't. I kept telling myself I shouldn't. But I did. He laid me on the bed and undressed both of us, lying next to me, holding me close. All of our time together, all of our physical and emotional interaction had been sexual until then, almost completely. But this wasn't that. I felt Javon was just loving me, easing my pain. He was touching me between my legs, my breasts, but he was being loving, without words. I felt he. Despite being his first cousin, I will admit to having similar thoughts when I first saw him, but they had gone soon enough. ‘Nice to meet you, Eliza—and Michael,’ she said, extending her hands and meeting his eyes. To my surprise, he glanced away awkwardly, but murmured a greeting.‘Come in! Grab a drink. Dance. There are some people in the hot tub out back, and I think they’re starting a circle. Go enjoy.’‘A circle?’ Eliza’s eyes brightened; her interest piqued. ‘I’m so joining that. Come on, Michael!’ She grabbed his hand and shot to the back door, barely stopping to pick up a couple of coolers from the kitchen table.‘Hey!’ I tried to keep up with them. ‘You do KNOW what a circle is, right?’‘Yeah, of course. It’s dope. I love weed. This is going to be great,’ Eliza enthused. I introduced them again, this time to the crowd of stoners, and they seemed to get on very well and had found their niche. I watched with some amazement as my cousin puffed away at the joint like a pro, and.
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