I recalled how much she liked to tease me in those days when we spend time in the "real world" on these not-quite-dates where we'd hang out and drive around and do all sorts of activities. She never referred to me as her "boyfriend" though looking back, she had no other steady male companion, and we were inseparable.I remembered how jealous I would become when she'd refer to one of her other male friends as "Joey" or "Kevy" (always a diminutive form, never "Joe" or "Kevin" and liked to watch me rage inside as she'd talk about how cute he was. I realized just then, with the knowledge of my decades-older current self that Ruth was not merely trying to get a reaction from me, or even be cruel. She was goading me into action. She wanted me to just grab her and kiss her instead of retreating inside my head like I used to do, wishing that she'd accept that I was her man. After all, I was who she spent her night with every night, even if we were miles apart and connected only by a copper. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"4. My mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"13. My mother taught me.
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