“What are you talking about?” he said. “And who are you?”As if she hadn’t heard, the woman said. “They’re not buying the idea, though. They say as it would cost too much, the postage, sending a lamp to people. Crock of shit, I reckon.”“Would you please just tell me what you’re doing here?” Sam asked, feeling as if his entire world was dissolving.“You people really are slow on the uptake,” the woman told him, chewing hard on her gum. “It’s simple. You kiss the figurine, you get what you’ve always desired. What’s the problem?”“The problem?” Sam exclaimed, waving an arm in her direction. “What do you think is the problem?”The woman gave a little frown, her jaws relentlessly working the gum like a particularly tense football manager with ten minutes left to rescue a draw. “Look, doll,” she said. “You entered into the deal by kissing the figurine. That means something; it always does.”“Samantha…” Sam began, feeling the need to explain.“Sam, Samantha,” the woman cut in. “What’s the. "Awww, poor baby," she purred. "Did you drink a little too much?"We all knew the answer to that question, as Kyle had already puked twice since we left the bar. In fact, it looked like number three was on its way.As soon as I opened the door, Kyle pushed past me, holding his hand over his mouth and charging straight for the bathroom. Me and Shannon exchanged amused looks as my roommate could be heard puking his guts out in our bathroom."Seriously," she began. "You really should have talked to that girl."I just shook my head. Shannon was always trying to hook me up with girls on our little outings, but for the most part I end up talking to her. It was like she was just one of the guys. I could talk to her about anything, which is more than I could say for most females."Maybe you should have put in a good word for me," I said slumping down on the couch."Maybe you should get your balls re-attached!" she countered with a smile.Just then we heard the toilet flush as Kyle stumbled out of.
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