These Aztec warriors were so fond of their enemies they tried to capture them alive rather than kill them in battle. And then they brought their enemies home for dinner. ‘In a work entitled Aztecs: Reign of Blood and Splendour, Diego de Duran, who witnessed one such banquet said the river of blood ran down the temple steps and ‘reached bottom and cooled they formed fat clots, enough to terrify anyone.’ Bernardino de Sahagun, a Spanish missionary, reported , ‘The celebrants flayed and dismembered the captives, they then lubricated their own naked bodies with grease and slipped into the skin … Trailing blood and grease, the gruesomely clad men ran through the city, thus terrifying those they followed … The second-day’s rite also included a cannibal feast for each warrior’s family.’ Gives an entirely new meaning to, oh, never mind. No more cannibal jokes. This isn’t funny. ‘Regarding the numbers of those sacrificed, it is certain it was hundreds of thousands as substantiated by skeletal. She is a great cook, though. We decided as we began to feel older that we’d eat like that three or four times a year, not including the end of the year holidays. Special occasions, like my birthday if I ask. We eat more when we’re out on the boat.”There was no boat under the carport attached to their garage. I frowned. “How big is your boat, Drew?”“She’s a thirty-five foot motor sailboat.” He mentioned some boat brand name that I didn’t know. “That more than anything keeps us fit. We love sailing,” he added.“Wow, an old girlfriend invited me out on her uncle’s sailboat once. I loved it. I just never followed up on it. I’ve often wished I had though. I tried to talk my parents into letting me join the Sea Scouts. They wouldn’t go for it though.”“Too bad. You might have gone to sea instead of becoming a damn lawyer.”“Aw, I like the Law. It gets kind of weird sometimes, but it’s mostly straightforward. Well, until a judge or a jury chimes in, that is. That’s not the only dream I gave up.
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