She felt warm, pliant and alive. A thousand oily liars had told her she was beautiful, but the words had only ricocheted off the shell around the burning lamp down in the window of her soul. Everything they said – the way they’d all looked at and touched her – never connected with the lost animal inside. The web of her fingers pressed into herself. In the moment she closed her eyes and felt only the spray against her body and the pressure of her hand between her thighs, she felt herself turning beautiful the way she had just before the car spun out of control. But it was a different kind of beauty the parlor freaks had all told her she had. They’d all looked at her like something they were about to wound. Hawke had looked at her like something wounded that needed fixing. At least if you look at something like it needs fixing, you have to harbor the belief it can be fixed. Her middle finger settled into the furrow between her flushing sex lips, and the animal inside called out to. The other hung by her side and clutched a doll by the arm. The girl was staring out from the wall with a lock of hair draped down over her face so it looked like she was peering out from behind her hair. Her forehead was wrinkled like she was confused about something and her eyes looked maybe a bit lost.It was an awesome painting. I’ve never seen anything like it before. It was so lifelike that it looked like she might step out of the wall and talk to me at any second.The nurse sighed and stood up. Then she said, “It would be a great help to us if you look after Bec this morning. All of us are going to be busy because we had two new admissions last night. Not only that, but ((deleted)) had a bad night and now ((deleted)) has decided to join in the mayhem.”I looked at Bec again and I sighed. Then I said, “Okay, whatever.”The nurse left the room and I dragged myself out of bed. I was still pretty tired because I spent so much of the night sitting up and watching Bec paint. I went over.
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