Days of sitting in front of the screen and the keyboard, pressing Refresh in the hope of her answer, then pacing the room, then pushing Refresh again. And nights of waking in the darkness, to light the room with the glow of the phone as I pressed Refresh there too.When at last the computer chimed, it was late in an evening, when I had just stepped from the shower, fresh from a run where I had tried and failed to clear my mind with exertion and rhythm. Her message was there, bold in the Inbox :"From: M W Subject: Decision"I didn't leap to open it, as I'd imagined I would at this moment, fumbling, with trembling hand and uncontrolled fingers. I took a deep breath instead, dried myself, dressed, and poured a glass of water. It was most likely a rejection. Best to compose myself first.I sat down, drew breath, and read."David, It was a pleasure to meet you those few days ago. I enjoyed our discussion and I found your answers interesting, informative and for the most part compatible with my. ’ To her credit, Roxy sounded decidedly unfazed. ‘My bad.’ At her age I’d have been mortified to think I’d got something like that wrong. How I envied her ability to let the moment pass. ‘Oh, no problem. Easy mistake to make,’ I said brightly. Much too brightly. ‘It’s not like you’re the first person to think something might be something going on between us. But it isn’t. So…’ I found myself glaring at the neat row of mugs on the shelf, fighting back unexpected tears. ‘What do you fancy, tea or coffee?’ ‘Tea.’ But suddenly, Roxy’s arm was around my shoulders. As though she was the woman who’d just turned twenty-five and I was the eighteen year old Saturday girl. As though she knew damn well I hadn’t been telling the truth. Could she tell? Or was she simply picking up on my vulnerable state? Having clocked my appearance in the mirror for myself, there was a good chance she’d simply decided I felt every bit as awful as I looked. ‘Go on,’ she said, in the manner of a mother chivvying a.
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