We’re 18 now! She’s horny as fuck and she says you can’t even get hard enough to do her!” I felt my face flush red. Gossip was already spreading about. 'What if everyone started to suspect things?' ... And I think you project your hatred of yourself on to that poor kid, Mikey! I fuckin’ see you trying to hide your boner when everyone is showering in the locker room, dude. Your cock is huge; everyone sees it!” I wanted to tackle him, to take the kid out. I wanted to fight him and deny everything like I have for so long. The truth was, however, I couldn’t. I had been called out, and soon everyone would know I was gay. I DID get hard in the locker room. I DID avoid fucking California. I DID bully Mike for no other reason than I was gay as well. I even jerked off to gay porn. I started to tear up and look the other way when Jacob’s voice broke the silence. “It’s ok, man. I, uh, I think I’m gay too. That’s why it bothers me when you pick on Mike. I do the same shit because I don’t. You cross paths with strangers every day; you see a little slice of their lives but have no idea where they've been or where they're going. John could be rapist, or he could be studying for the priesthood. He might have been sincere about Marilee and Josie, liking them both, or could have been playing a macho game with his buddies where you get five points for a bartender. Josie could be what she seemed; sweet, a little naïve, and lonely. Or she could be some nymphomaniac who picked up guys in the bar all the time. I would never know.I thought about throwing the napkin away when the stewardess came by collecting trash but didn't. Even if the note meant nothing to John, it was valuable. It represented a leap of faith from one stranger to another, against all logic. Reason says 'don't take chances.' But that's what human beings do, and though Josie reached out to someone other than me, I couldn't throw the napkin away. As I finally fell asleep I was thinking about the look on.
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