" I hadn't been thinking about sex before she said that. I'd been worried about seeing her again before I left, and about making sure she got over being mad at me. In an instant, all my priorities changed. Now, all I could think about was the two of us being together."Today would be good?" I don't know why it came on me so suddenly, but I woke up thinking about that. When I went to bed last night, I was still very upset about you leaving. Maybe I had some dreams or something, but this morning, that's what I woke up thinking about. It was one of the reasons I called you. Usually, I wouldn't have called." I'm glad you called me. I was going to wait until right before I left to call you, to say goodbye. I was afraid you wouldn't come to the phone, and then I'd have felt bad all week." I wish your parents weren't home. I would like to watch television in your room again." They wouldn't mind. Dad's locked up in his study, working on his action plans for the coming week, and Mama is trying. She cried herself to sleep ever night since their prom, she wanted to just say ‘fuck it’, but she couldn’t, she just could not bring herself to defy her father on such a serious level. This was not someone her father didn’t like for simple, stupid reasons, this was someone her father had hated before he was even born, hated for his blood, his roots, his family tree and his last name. What happened? her mission in life had not been to fall in love with her fathers enemy, it had been to make her father love her or at least pay some attention to her. If she said ‘fuck it’ it would put the last nail in the coffin of her dying relationship with her father. He would never forgive her and she would never be able to teach him to love her. She just couldn’t do it. She would survive this living hell physically, but mentally she was destroyed. She would never love like that again She would never feel like that again She would live the rest of her life existing on only the memory of that one.
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