" I was going tobe cool, calm and collected. "I'm sorry to bother you. It's just,well, something happened today that, well, that, I ..." so much forcool, calm and collected. "I think I made a mistake," I blurted out,"I, I tried to be careful, but, well, I, I should have, I didn't meantoo ... I don't know, this is all so difficult. I, I, maybe I wasn'tvery good at raising Jamie as a boy, but I'm awful at raising him as agirl." Ginny," Dr. Mitchell finally interrupted my ranting, "calm down.You're not bothering me. That's why I'm here, to help you. You don'thave to do this by yourself and you might as well get used to thereality that it's not going to be easy, even with my help. Now tell mewhat happened that has you so concerned. Start from the beginning andgo slowly. Okay?" Okay. We went to the park. Jamie was dressed as a girl. Not femmyor anything, just a skort, plain top, sneakers and sox. He met anotherlittle girl. Well, she thought he was a girl too. They played. Matt had built up the fire, so it wasn't as cold as before, but it still wasn't warm. The bowl Matt handed her felt good in her hands. Warmed up by the hot food inside, it smelled better than anything they'd eaten in a while. Valarie tried to eat it slowly, so she could enjoy the unexpected, but even though it was fuller than normal, her bowl of rice and raisins disappeared way too fast.As she scraped the last of the sticky rice from the bowl and licked it off her spoon, Matt uncovered the pot and served out more. He gave everyone three whole spoonfuls. It wasn't until after she'd eaten it all that she realized how full she felt. She hadn't eaten so much since the first few days at the shelter, before the strict rationing started.The little kids had already finished their food, and were busy ripping up paperback books and twisting the pages up to use in the stove. Valarie inched closer to Matt and whispered in his ear. "Why did you make so much food? We don't have much left."He.
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