I wished I were a boy, so that I could join the Boy Scouts and find other kindred spirits.Uncle George also gave me a present that changed my life: a camera.I found out that I had a talent for photography in general, and wildlife photography in particular. Due to my training in woodscraft, I could get close to animals and patiently wait for them to come into camera range. These were the days just before digital cameras became common, so my first camera was a single lens reflex film camera that accepted a variety of lenses, from macro to telephoto, and I learned to use them all. I'd come out of the woods with thirty or forty rolls of exposed film, and we'd have them developed and scanned into digital format, which I'd then use with PhotoShop to crop and alter them as I pleased.I went with them up to the hills every summer, and also for Christmas or Easter vacation, when I could. When I was sixteen, I made my first photo sale, and my name started going around. I got an agent, who told. I... I, uh... Steven... I gave myself... to a man because he could give me a life. He said he could. He would. He had money. He was attractive, he was powerful, he was nice to me. And if my sister Evelyn could build an easy life for herself that way, then surely I could. And there... there were... others. A few. A couple of them. Hon, I'm not talking about sin. I'm not talking about... taking, not sharing. Not loving. God knows they knew so much about wealth but so little about pleasure. And nothing about love. Nothing." She sighed, looking down the promenade away from me. "I was... I mean... I mean, I gave up. I hit bottom. I didn't just lie, I opened my legs to lies. I am pretty, I am desirable, but I gave it to that phony crowd. I gave something that a truly loving person would have thought of as not only desirable, but precious. For security. I wanted acceptance, I wanted a place. I wanted warmth and clean sheets. Children. A father. But I was so, so, so angry. I was enraged. Why.
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